SD CH3 PG10

Vision: The reason I'm giving generous amounts of this is because I'm not sure what's going on at all. First of all, lets address the text bubbles. They're small, both the text and the size of the bubble itself. Also the text beside the dark haired girl on the first panel is barely readable. I have bad eyesight already, so it was a major problem for me as it took away from the visual experience because I had to keep on squinting to comprehend anything. In short, the font could be bigger, and the speech bubbles as well. Another thing is that the neatness of the speech bubbles annoyed me. [link] <--Here's an example of what kind of speech bubbles that are really easy to read and are easy on the eyes. No squinting here!

Originality: From what I understand it's your own story about few friends visiting a cafe? I can't judge originality a whole lot because this is just one page, but most likely these are your own OCs and own scenario, so I'll give you some points on that.

Technique: I think you put a lot of effort into this, because of the detailing on the wall panels, the subtle shadows to the girl's shadow cast on the wall in the first panel, especially the first three panels. It looks like you put a lot of thought into how you were going to apply it on the page.

Impact: Overall, I may have trouble remembering what exactly this was. It did however leave me wondering more about their personalities, the depth of their character, and what will happen next.

pros: Nice use of visual imagery and technique
cons: Speechbubbles can make it look munted at times and affects the overall vision/impact


*Sorry if I didn't live up to the expectations of writing out a critique. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> I don't get a lot so whenever I see a friend requesting one, I just really can't help myself.